What Is Holding You Back?

“How are you doing though, Annie? What are you working on?” Five solid months of living in Santa Monica may have robbed me of disposal income but has provided the simple luxury of a daily routine that includes encounters with familiar faces. Thursday morning started with Married Mark from standup class who paused from scribbling in his leather ...

What Are You Meant To Do With Your Life?

Instead of going out after Saturday Open Mic I headed home to work on this blog post while sobering up with water, a Wetzel Pretzel and Vanderpump Rules. At 11:25 p.m. a text was received from my friend Cody. The message simply included a link to Inc.com’s “11 Remarkably Inspirational Quotes to Brighten Your Day.” I found it comforting that someone ...
Beauty & Style

15 Valentine's Day Gifts Under $15

Does he have his window rolled down because of me? "My roommate used a bleach pen on my shirt, and I think it was old because now I smell like vomit. And I have a date!" I blurted to the Uber driver seated to my left, hoping that he would quickly squash the insecurity. "Oh really?" he casually asked back while whipping a U-turn on Santa Monica ...

4 Winter Essentials Neutral Girls Need

“I used to talk crap on fashion bloggers.” Regret immediately set in as one of my favorite fashion bloggers stared back at me on the iPhone screen. It was like calling up Bruno Mars and admitting you always thought “Uptown Funk” kind of sucked. I quickly attempted to explain the blasphemous confession but struggled to find the right ...

10 Items to Pack for Long Trips

“I was thinking, Ootzie. Why don’t you just fly straight from Phoenix to St. Louis instead of going back to LAX?” my dad recommended only hours before my flight to San Francisco on November 19th. Crap. He had a point. Before even hanging up, I ran into my Santa Monica bedroom and psychotically started cramming random sweaters, shoes and coats ...
Girl Crush

Why She Quit Her Job and Traveled the World

“The key?” Christina said, holding a comb in the air. A group of Arizona State sorority sisters huddled around our pretty blonde Social Chair while preparing for a party. I anxiously anticipated Christina’s next words as if they were the formula to a 1.5” thigh gap. “The lift.” With wide eyes we watched as she aptly teased our friend’s ...

How to F*@king Go For It

“I always imagined that you would paint it pink with zebra stripes for some reason,” Jessie said over the phone as she prepared to go to our 10 year high school reunion. Though I was camped out at a coffee shop across the country, the conversation took me back to those high school hallways where two friends dreamt of their future a decade ago. Someday, ...

Why Every Girl Should Try Crossfit

"On Saturday morning me and my roommate woke up hungover but forced ourselves to go to the gym to prove that we could lift as much as you girls," my athletic 26 year old brother told me after attending the video shoot featuring girls from my Crossfit gym. "We were pretty nervous we couldn't clean as much." He wasn't talking about dishes and ...
Living

What Is Holding You Back?

“How are you doing though, Annie? What are you working on?” Five solid months of living in Santa Monica may have robbed me of disposal income but has provided the simple luxury of a daily routine that includes encounters with familiar faces. Thursday morning started with Married Mark from standup class who paused from scribbling in his leather ...

What Are You Meant To Do With Your Life?

Instead of going out after Saturday Open Mic I headed home to work on this blog post while sobering up with water, a Wetzel Pretzel and Vanderpump Rules. At 11:25 p.m. a text was received from my friend Cody. The message simply included a link to Inc.com’s “11 Remarkably Inspirational Quotes to Brighten Your Day.” I found it comforting that someone ...

5 Things That Happened When I Gave Up Coffee for a Month

Every morning at 7 a.m. for 2 years I pulled into the McDonald’s drive-thru with sweat-filled hair post-Crossfit, paid $1.07 and grabbed my small black coffee from the same friendly employee. While preparing quinoa egg scramble at home, I scooped one teaspoon of coconut oil into the coffee which melted as I set the table. Once seated I would take ...
How-To

The Lazy Girl's Jell-O Shot Easter Eggs

There are times when I want to impress people. And then there are times that I simply want to hunt for Jell-O shots inside of Easter eggs as if I was an alcoholic 5 year old. Things I DO have time to do Mix a Jell-O packet with Vodka Pour it inside eggs Persuade a friend's boyfriend to hide them Hunt for them & eat them Things I DO NOT ...

6 Butt Workouts for Swimsuit Season

Each time I pull on a pair of shorts or pants or pajama bottoms, I’ve noticed that I do the same thing: I grab my right butt cheek. Admittedly, I briefly cup it in the way that no girl ever wants her butt cupped by creepers at nightclubs, but it’s mine. And I need to know. I need to know the firmness, volume and relative consistency. These are ...

Mini Protein Pancake Kebabs

True story: This recipe was my first time purchasing Nutella. Another true story... It's currently 10:31 p.m. on Ash Wednesday evening and ashes are falling from my forehead onto my laptop keyboard as I erratically dance in my office chair to Florence + The Machine while on my second glass of red wine. Not counting the Blood of Christ. My only hope ...
Love/Sex
See All

3 Ways Happn Helps You Date IRL

“Can I borrow your hose?” she asked as he knelt down, scrubbing the tires of his sedan. It was the summer of 1980 in the parking lot of Baywood Apartments in Newport Beach, California. Richard looked up to find a bright-eyed brunette peering back and eagerly reached for his soap bucket to ...

What Is Monogamy Though?

“Thou shalt commit adultery.” Because of a printer’s error in the 1805 edition of the Bible, this commandment suddenly dictated philandering. It soon became known as the wicked Bible. But the human animal seems cursed with a contradiction of the spirit. We search for true love, find him or her, and settle in. Then, when the spell begins to fade, the ...

I Kissed My Friend Who Is a Girl

Confessing attraction towards someone, whether it’s mild or severe, can feel awkward for a variety of reasons. Perhaps you’re friends, coworkers or classmates - How will this affect our existing relationship? Will it make things weird? Maybe you’re in a relationship - Does it count as cheating? Does it mean I’m attracted to my partner less? ...