In the same way that every nightclub, hashtag and diet has a shelf-life, I knew it was a matter of time before Tinder met it’s match. Because of this, it came as no surprise when I read a TechCrunch article last week about Bumble, a soon-to-launch dating app created by former Tinder employees. And it sounded very similar:
- Profile photos and short bio
- Swipe right if you like and left if you don’t
- Matches are saved and messaged
The only difference seemed to be that your occupation and education are prominently displayed, which are two credentials I tend to care about. Now we could be spared a part of the boring small talk. Perfect.
Not to mention, as a tech loving sapiosexual, I couldn’t help but be excited that there was a new app whose early adopters would likely be my type. Thank you, TechCrunch.
Tinder with a Twist
However, when they reported yesterday that the app had launched – with a twist, I wondered, “Is this better?”
Bumble’s prime differentiator is that it puts the girls in charge by requiring them to be the first to message the guys. They have 24 hours to message a match before it expires. Meanwhile, the guys sit back and wait on messages with only one chance each day to extend a match by another 24 hours… and I’m kind of jealous.
While many times I’ve feared I might be one bra burning ceremony away from full-blown feminist, when it comes to dating I do sometimes enjoy traditional etiquette. Obviously creepy advances are about as unwanted as donuts before the pool, but it’s still nice to be pursued. To me, filtering through messages feels like I’m more in-control than being the first to message – with potentially no response.[quote]Would other girls feel the same? Would guys enjoy the tables being turned? Is dating like a Vegas road trip in which no one wants to be behind the wheel?[/quote]
For expert opinions, I polled readers to find out how they liked it on a scale of Love to Hate.
What Girls Think of Bumble
Sometimes I think you’re hot so I swipe right, but I don’t want to talk, just look at the pictures. I also know my intentions so by initiating the conversation maybe he’ll understand them too if I start with “Hey, how are you?” vs. “What are you doing tonight?” I’m tired of getting messages that say “Hey, great tits.” I get that Tinder is all about hooking up but at least try. I’m not that easy.
It’s kind of annoying to have to wait for the guy to initiate conversation. If you do it first on Tinder, they almost always assume that you are some crazy, take charge, “I’m always in control” kind of girl. Plus, they didn’t have to chase you, so they automatically like you less. Since we HAVE to message first, it becomes normal, and it’ll give me the opportunity to weed out the probable guys much faster. I bet I still have some super hot guy saved on my Tinder because…maybe he’ll message me someday. FUCK. THAT.
I’ve messaged guys before, and it was never a bad thing. Although, I do prefer the guy to initiate communication I don’t see anything wrong with the girl reaching out if she feels the need. I say go for it.
If a girl messages a guy first, how will she know if he really wanted her or just went after what was handed to him? Call me old fashioned, but I like the guy to initiate. When I think about how many guys I don’t respond to on dating sites, I definitely don’t want to be on the receiving end of those rejections. Plus, it’s proven that guys like the chase (girls, hunting, etc). A girl is supposed to be hard to get. How special will we be to them if we are putting ourselves out there first?
What Guys Think of Bumble
I would love if girls were reaching out to me. The expectation on Tinder is that a guy has to reach out to a girl so if you don’t start the conversation then nothing’s ever said.
I think part of the reason girls don’t use dating sites is because they get too many messages. This cuts down on the garbage so maybe they’ll use it more. It would be great to sit back and get messages.
It helps with the enormous fear every guy has starting a conversation with a cute girl.
Why? Because then you know they are interested, rather than someone that casually swiped right during a drunken night with her girlfriends. Women are confusing. Hopefully this app helps them realize that men don’t read signals well.
When texting with Chad about his response, I confessed that “I’m not sure if I’m ready to be the boy.” His response put me at ease:
Guys don’t want you to. We just want to know you’re interested. That’s why you can message first, and we can take it from there.
I think I can handle that.