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“There’s only memories that mean something. And memories that don’t.” The words slipped from Sylvester Stallone’s lips and quickly found a new home in the depths of my iPhone Notes among titles to books never read and life quotes by…
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If Tinder is The Bachelor then Bumble is The Bachelorette: newer, better and puts the girls in charge. Until we shut down and realize it’s really all the same. This year’s latest DIY costume pays homage to the app that has…
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There was the ill-fitting, dad-like white Polo shirt. And there was the Coors Light. As I approached the dimly lit high table at the back of Wired Willy’s in Fort Worth, Texas, my attention ping ponged between the two of…
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“I need savory!” I thought as I dumped canned tomato sauce with processed Parmesan cheese on top of Jason Sani’s perfectly healthy waffle recipe. I’m the type of person who can eat the same thing for weeks so when I…
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“I feel like that’s a lot of alcohol…” I said as I watched my Aunt Rosie pour two frozen lemonade cans-worth of Maker’s Mark into the glass jar. “It’s a party starter!” she replied. “It’s going to be a day…
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“‘You’ll sell a skyscraper if you dress better,’” Zee said in her best male impersonation, looking to her right. Even through tinted Ray-bans I could spot the eye roll. “Dress for success!” Ruben replied back with a smug grin. “That’s…
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“How many back squats does it take to make it to the top of the hill? I wondered as my pink Paul Frank beach cruiser crept up East Broadway Street and boob sweat pooled. Between heavy breaths I planned weighted…
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Minted’s “Keys, Wallet, Phone” gold-foiled print couldn’t have arrived at a better time. After a week of business travel to Texas accompanied by BBQ and wings, I was ready for a uniquely-LA, pseudo-hipster, cheap-but-amazing type of weekend. Before running down to meet…
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“You might have to smoke a doobie before this call, AJ,” my boss laughed. “It’s a big customer, and you need to be calm and collected.” I rolled my eyes, made a Xanax joke and a simple “prep for call”…
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This was the first year that my old school Easter lamb cake has made it to the office with its head still intact. And my Grandma would be proud. While some people received jewelry, others furniture, and my brother her…
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