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You can take the girl out of the slightly inappropriate greeting card company, but you can’t take the slightly inappropriate greeting cards out of the girl. Guys might not love Valentine’s Day, but they do like to be reminded that…
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“I’ll grab some batteries for the Roku tomorrow,” my roommate said. VICE episodes and Netflix documentaries would sadly have to wait. “No, hang on, AAA?!” I ran to my room, opened the closet doors and stood on my tip toes…
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“He probably couldn’t afford to take me out another night,” I concluded. For a split second this revelation eased the anxiety that had mounted in the early morning hours as I stared up at the ceiling of the Soho Airbnb…
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The bright lights keep me from finding faces in the audience, but I can see his beneath a baseball cap as he leans against the far wall of the theatre. The nerves that accompanied me in the cab are now…
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When you’re a single girl living in Los Angeles, the movie billboards are exciting at first. On nearly every street corner, bus stop and apartment building you spot larger-than-life scenes of your favorite actors announcing the next movie that you…
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“Can I borrow your hose?” she asked as he knelt down, scrubbing the tires of his sedan. It was the summer of 1980 in the parking lot of Baywood Apartments in Newport Beach, California. Richard looked up to find a…
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“Thou shalt commit adultery.” Because of a printer’s error in the 1805 edition of the Bible, this commandment suddenly dictated philandering. It soon became known as the wicked Bible. But the human animal seems cursed with a contradiction of the…
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Confessing attraction towards someone, whether it’s mild or severe, can feel awkward for a variety of reasons. Perhaps you’re friends, coworkers or classmates – How will this affect our existing relationship? Will it make things weird? Maybe you’re in a…
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A resurrection occurred that I never announced. My vibrator of 8 years may have been on her last leg as I described in last year’s Eulogy, but she was still indeed alive. Had I prematurely tossed her in the dumpster…
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At 1 p.m. on Monday afternoon I was perched on a stool in Intelligentsia Coffee in Venice Beach between two hipster boys while exchanging iMessages with my guy friend in Scottsdale, Arizona. We were on the same sex-related subject that…
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