New Year’s Eve is undoubtedly weird. Between event tickets, midnight kisses and squeezing into a sequin dress post-Christmas cookies, the expectations make it nearly unenjoyable. However, the beauty of New Year’s is that it forces us to reflect – to recall the memories and life lessons the previous year held before setting new resolutions for the coming one.
2014 was at times a mess – but a beautiful one for sure. My resolution was to be more of a romantic than a sentimentalist – not in the sense of chocolates and roses but by living life in the moment instead of getting too attached to the past. To be honest, I re-read the following 2014 resolution I wrote many, many times throughout the year:
So, cheers to moments that seize all your senses, no matter their duration. Music that makes you cry. Literature that makes you laugh. Ballsy, bold moves. People who challenge you to look at life a little differently. Art that blows your mind. Romances that make you feel sexy – as uncomfortable as that sounds. Goodbyes that are for the best. Friendships filled with silliness and giggles. Places that pry you from your comfort zone. Experiences you’ll never forget. And nights like New Year’s Eve, when the world feels like it begins again.
SOML’s Best of 2014
Originally I was planning on writing a blog post that described how I stuck to these resolutions, but then I remembered that the wonderful thing about having a blog is that I don’t need to re-write what has already been written throughout the year. Below you’ll find my favorite SOML quotes from 2014, as well as my final thoughts for you this year.
January 4, 2014 “The World Begins Again”
“Looking back, many of my most joyous moments of 2013 were spent enjoying “the flippancy of life” while the most heartbreaking ones were the result of trying to hold on to them too tight.”
March 18, 2014 “How to Recover from a Moral Hangover”
7:00 am Facebook status Sunday morning:
Randomly/drunkenly making Rice Krispie treats in my clothes from last night after Ubering home from an unfortunate night out/morning after: “WHY is there an American Girl doll by the window?” followed by him asking “You don’t want my number?” No.
April 3, 2014 “8 Reasons Why Every Girl Should Have Guy Friends”
… it’s important for all of us to look beyond gender and sexuality and attraction and enjoy people for people, for their heart, humor and the happiness they bring. Because the truth is, I am a million times happier now with many guys who make me realize what I can do than one guy who tells me what I can’t.
April 28, 2014 “Post-Weekend Mental Checklist”
It’s okay to wake up in your bikini Monday morning and eat chocolate for breakfast. It’s not the end of the world to drink too much and eat straight sugar. It’s perfectly fine to dance like an idiot in public, wear whatever you want and play pretend (lesbian, Lady Gaga, whoever). My goal is to have my life together enough to write blog posts during the week while letting it unravel just enough on the weekends to have blog content. Besides, life is about yin and yang: good and bad, coffee and vodka, happy buzzes and morning hangovers, diets and desserts, working and twerking, constructive days and crazy nights. Because giggles > regret.
June 15, 2014 “Dating Advice from My Dad”
Be concerned about his shoe size, not the fashion.
June 1, 2014 “The Hookup Buddy”
One of my New Year’s resolutions had been to be more romantic. Some may not think that a drunken night of friends with benefits is the definition of romance. But I’m finally starting to realize what my hookup buddy has been trying to teach me over the past year. Sometimes it’s the brevity of experiences that make them sexy.
June 25, 2014 “27 Isn’t What I Thought It Would Be”
For me, it’s a magical number not because I’m marrying someone I love but because I’ve become someone I love – one bikini bottom, blog post and birthday at a time.
July 8, 2014 “Can You Judge a Guy by Google?”
And while some people’s skeletons are stashed away in overcrowded closets full of secrets, other people’s are prominently displayed amid celeb sightings and fashion faux pas on hollywoodlife.com – where they’re actually a little less scary and a little more fun.
August 3, 2014 “My Date Was Too Straight”
To me, coming out is courageous. And it’s people’s whispers about it that makes it an even braver act.
August 3, 2014 “How to Cope with a Short Haircut”
In the same way that I pretend like my lipgloss gives me superpowers when applying it before important meetings and blind dates, I’m using my short hair as my Girl Boss uniform… It’s time for less twirling and curling hair and more tackling and creating awesome stuff.
August 10, 2014 “The Bigger Reason Why People Should Break Up”
But we should really be acting more out of love – love for ourselves and love for others. Because everyone deserves either to be loved fully or let go to discover their own happiness and a person who will love them in that way.
September 3, 2014 “Story of My Life Has a New Home”
Someone once commented on a blog post that I had missed my calling; that I should’ve been a writer. That comment stuck with me and challenged me to prove to myself and everyone else that it’s never too late.
September 11, 2014 “When Longtime Feelings Aren’t Mutual”
Standing in front of the mirror at hot yoga, shirt off, no makeup but smudged mascara, sweat pouring down my face, it forced me to look at myself – my true self – for 80 minutes after a miserable day. I realized it was the girl I wanted to get to know a little better instead of the one who is daily getting dolled up for someone else. I want her to wear makeup if she wants to wear makeup, to bake cookies for herself and to strive for success because it makes her happy.
September 12, 2014 “Hamstrings Can Be Hot”
For the first time in my life, I saw the body of a female athlete celebrated. When’s the last time you saw a Victoria’s Secret supermodel who had massive quads? Let me tell you: never. These bitches were killing it, and men were loving it. It was like a light bulb finally went on in my brain. Wait a second…guys think my hamstrings are sexy?! Why don’t I think my hamstrings are sexy? How could it have taken me 26 years to realize the body that God gave me was awesome?
September 17, 2014 “You Don’t Need to Get Your Life Together”
And at one low point when I was locked out of my house due to no replacement house keys, I was so tired and emotionally drained that I snuck into the Saguaro Hotel and took a nap on their poolside hammock. Homeless much?
September 29, 2014 “Why Do Girls Hate Each Other?”
My mind is always miles ahead of the present which can sometimes be wonderful – swimming in new ideas and possibilities – but most of the time can be detrimental. When I meet a girl, I start creating a story that their beauty will steal the boyfriend that I don’t even have or that their intelligence will rob me of a job even though I’m awesome at what I do… Why am I allowing myself to be scared of something and someone that doesn’t exist presently?
October 5, 2014 “Life Lessons from My Grandma”
Though she was a tough, respectful chick, she proudly sported her red lipstick, whether the Army liked it or not. Sometimes you have to break rules to stay true to yourself, red lips and all.
October 13, 2014 “I Am a Natural Disaster”
For the rest of my life, I will likely cause myself tsunami-sized stress and unforeseen quakes that rock my world. I will always need disaster relief in the form of Pop Tarts and spare keys.
October 26, 2014 “It’s Just the Oxytocin Talking”
In the end, while Thin Mints and oxytocin provide wonderful highs, there is something about good ‘ole everyday sober/friendly interactions that grant satisfaction in a much more sustainable way. It’s like learning to appreciate strawberries for their natural sweetness – and not binging like a crazy person when they’re dipped in chocolate every now and then.
November 5, 2014 “Losing Yourself”
In the same way that I’m learning to live with the fact that the seasons are out of my control, I must embrace the fact that dynamic forces will continually mold me as a person – and you as well. We will always feel a little off and shifts in identity will be an inevitable part of the story of our lives, a theme that exists from start to finish.
November 17, 2014 “Sex and the City”
Perhaps I was crazy for having a crush on a 37 year old guy whose last name I didn’t even know how to pronounce. Maybe it was skanky or desperate to cab across town and climb into his bed, especially after how he treated me previously. But I was 27, on vacation in New York City, with a pair of pink panties in my pocket. And I was happy.
November 17, 2014 “I Can’t Blame Carrie Bradshaw”
The fact that he lives in New York has allowed this fantasy to stay intact, unaffected by day-to-day activities, his relationships and reality. But when my texts and calls go unanswered, I’m reminded that it is simply a fairytale. After one evening, the carriage returns to being a pumpkin, and the glass slipper no longer fits.
November 24, 2014 “Why Girls Shouldn’t Stay the Night”
IMPORTANTLY, we will probably say that we want you to spend the night. It’s a lie. This is more than a general rule, it is as close to law as gravity.
December 1, 2014 “Everything is a Story”
Whether your stories are shared in your private journal, among friends or published in a memoir, they are just as real and true as anyone else’s. Don’t be afraid to share your perspective. I am confident that the only stories we regret are those untold.
December 7, 2014 “I’ve Never Had Good Sex”
For various reasons, I have never had good sex. I drink too much. I get in my head. I overthink it. I equate it to a workout, worrying about my form and wondering how many reps I have left. I’m scared to be vulnerable, afraid to indulge and embarrassed to speak up. I feel guilty for not being more experienced and for being far from perfect.
December 18, 2014 “How to Date Without Dating”
Sometimes when wandering the mall, something catches your eye in the window. You walk into the store to examine it closely and may come back to see it again a time or two. When you return home, you can’t stop thinking about it. For some reason, you have to have it.
December 24, 2014 “I Didn’t Want to Write About Christmas”
The sentimentalist would hold on too tightly to old traditions. The romantic would enjoy each freezing cold bocce ball game, McDonald’s coffee, and night in with family members because all we really have are moments. Moments that are not defined by the past but have been lived fully enough to be remembered and appreciated in the future.
December 31, 2014
Letting go never sounds as fun as holding on. There’s a reason people are hoarders, why diets suck and rocky relationships last. However, letting go is an essential part of living in the moment. Over the past year I let go of many things, including:
- Longtime crushes
- Wearing too much makeup
- Hair extensions
- The place I lived
- Countless clothes and shoes
- Padded bras all-together
- The notion that your “number” matters
- Trying too damn hard
- My greeting card company
But what I gained is immeasurable. I gained self-confidence and a lightness that will carry me onto even bigger and better changes in the new year. I created more art than I have any other year of my life. I learned how to play piano, how to write and how to take photographs. And I gained many readers who have touched me and taught me to reach out to others and let them know you dig what they’re doing. Your encouragement motivates me every day, and I can’t wait to share 2015 with you.